A Visit to the Dentist

I have a dentist appointment this morning. I have a very small cavity that must be filled. They found that cavity before I ever felt a symptom. It’s not causing me problems now, but if I don’t let them fill it I’ll have more problems down the road.

Time for a confession here—I went for a number of years without going to the dentist. I hated the thought of going. I practice good dental hygiene. I wasn’t experiencing any trouble. Why should I go to the time and expense of going to the dentist? Well, that was my thought process, anyway.

A few years ago I made the decision that I really needed to make sure that I get those standard annual (or bi-annual) checkups that medical experts are always suggesting. My first trip to the dentist after all those years wasn’t as bad as I thought. One thing that helped was that I explained my fears and issues before we got started. That allowed the hygienist and the dentist to be sensitive to my concerns.

A couple of things came to mind this morning as I was preparing for my day. First, things often aren’t as bad as we anticipate. We can work things up in our minds until they’re really big and scary. It’s only by setting those fears aside and moving forward that we are able to reap the benefits of whatever action we’re taking. I’m known among my friends for saying, “Just pull up your big girl panties and deal with it.” I found out recently that it’s sort of Biblical. In Job 38:3a (NAS), it says, “Gird your loins like a man.” Sometimes that’s what it takes.

The other thing that came to mind was how important it is to take care of things while they’re still small and manageable. In every area of my life it’s important for me to occasionally take stock. I need to check things out to make sure they’re just exactly like they should be. My little cavity is just a shadow on an x-ray right now. If I don’t take care of it, though, I could eventually lose that tooth. As a matter of fact, decay could affect the surrounding if it’s not kept in check. I could eventually lose more teeth. While I’m not excited about getting that cavity filled this morning, I prefer that to losing a tooth or two down the road.

My pastor talks about making sure you’re not even just a little bit off track spiritually because down the road that path can take you way off into left field. If we just coast along without evaluating the soundness of our spiritual health, our physical health, our mental health, our marriage, our family, our career, and even our friendships, it’s possible for any one of those to go awry.

So, as I head off to the dentist this morning I’ll be taking stock of some of the other areas of my life. I’m hoping it will keep my mind off what the dentist will be doing.

I’m Fine

Are you really? I’m asked how I am a lot because I see lots of people. I’m one of the few people I know who gets a concerned response if I answer, “I’m fine.” My usual response is fantastic, wonderful, great, or something else along those lines. So, if I’m simply fine, people who know me get a little concerned.

Here’s my question. When someone asks how you are, are you honest? No, they aren’t looking for a rundown of your latest medical complaints. But, unless the question comes from the checker at the local grocery store, people do care. For many of us, the real answer is, “Not great, but I’ll be okay.” And, it’s okay to answer that way.

We feel like we have to put on a happy face for others. If we open up, though, and let others share our burdens, the burdens are lighter. If you’re struggling, let your friends help.

By the way, I’m not sharing this thought because I’m struggling right now. Things are actually going really well. I’m sharing this because I know a few people who are struggling and are doing their best to keep that from everyone around them. You don’t have to share everything with everyone, but it’s important to have people in your life with whom you can share your burdens.

So, how are you?

Too Old

I’m too old. This realization came to me recently. Oh, I feel good. I even think I look pretty good. But, clearly I’m too old.

I’m too old to think it’s fashionable to have my underwear show. I’m from the generation that worked hard to make sure that no one saw our bra straps or panties. So, seeing women walk around wearing standard bras underneath shirts with spaghetti straps strikes me as slightly insane. Don’t get me started on young men and women who wear their pants low enough or loose enough that I can tell what type and color they’re wearing.

I’m too old to understand holding an entire text conversation with someone while sitting with people. I love my cell phone. I text frequently (though, never while driving). I’ll sometimes text back and forth to our son while The Furry Guy and I are eating out. When I’m with people, though, I generally engage in verbal conversation. I realize that some of the people I see are actually texting one another, so they aren’t really being rude. Still, I don’t get it. Clearly I’m too old.

I’m too old to be bored with everything. Maybe that’s not too old. Maybe that’s not sophisticated enough. Thinking back, I realize that the über-sophisticated, socially elite people have always projected a kind of bored demeanor.

So, I’m old and unsophisticated. That means that if you see me you won’t know what color my underwear is, you’ll have my undivided attention (even if, as I’ve been told recently, I talk too much), and I’ll be excited about whatever you’re doing. I can live with that.

Misunderstood

I was recently involved in a misunderstanding. In a group setting I asked a question, then explained why I’d asked. This was perceived by the other person as a public correction and belittling. That was not my intention at all. I sensed no reaction from the others in the group indicating that they viewed the exchange in that way, either. Still, that other person was hurt.

I didn’t know about this misunderstanding until hours later. I was stunned. Looking back I believe there was a lot more involved in the person’s reaction than what happened at that exchange. I’ve played out the incident over and over in my head, and can’t see how things could have gone any differently. But, that’s not the point. That person’s perception and feelings are what’s important.

I’ve apologized. The apology was accepted. She knew that the hurt to her wasn’t intentional. Still, in the midst of our subsequent conversation my feelings were hurt. I was tired and caught completely off guard. Remember, the other person had had hours to think about things from her perspective. I had no idea.

Here’s the thing. I could now hold a grudge, nurse my hurt feelings, and allow this to cause a rift in our relationship. Or, I could realize there is some validity in the criticism that was made of me. I can use that to make myself more sensitive to others. I still feel misunderstood, but that’s okay. We’re all occasionally misunderstood. Part of me would like to make her see my side of things. I want to defend myself, make her see that her perception was wrong. But , what would that accomplish? Nothing.

Time and sensitivity will mend the minor nick in our relationship. I’ll be much more aware of the way I address her in the future, especially in public. I know I’ll be misunderstood again. I just hope that I’m always able to mend relationships when it happens.

Just

Your life is an occasion. Rise to it. –Dustin Hoffman as Mr. Magorium in Mr. Magorium’s Wonder Emporium.

I want to greet each day as a precious gift. I want to embrace every moment as an opportunity to touch a life or make a difference. I want to be present in my life. I don’t want to be a “just person.” In Mr. Magorium’s Wonder Emporium that’s what Mahoney calls Henry the accountant. A “just person” is someone who sees just a book, just a tree, just a toy.

It’s too easy to see just a day, just a job, just a server, just . . .

Mr. Magorium’s true magic is that he sees the possibilities. He sees the wonder. I want to do that. I want to see possibilities and wonder in everything around me.

Why Go?

I’ll admit it. I’m a training junkie. I love going to classes, seminars, and workshops. I like teleclasses. I download recordings of classes and listen to them as I drive. I love gathering information. In the old movie Short Circuit, I totally related to Number 5’s need for input.

Here’s the thing, though. I don’t like to waste time. And, no matter how much great information I get through all those training avenues, if I don’t put at least a portion of it into practice I’ve wasted that time.

This coming Tuesday I’ll be at a training event. As I get ready to go I’m gathering the tools I need to help me make use of what I learn. I’ll be taking note cards so I can jot down things that I can do immediately or with very little prep. I’ll have a notebook for things that will take a little more work. This way I’ll be able to start making any changes right away.

Once I’m home I’ll type up my notes. This is a way for me to review the notes in a way that helps me to sort and file them. It also gives me a chance to share the information with people who can’t attend the event. I’ll copy some of those notes to documents that I’ll keep for future reference. That way when I’m struggling in a particular area or even just feeling a little stale, I’ll have them for inspiration.

I can pretty much guarantee that I’ll speak with at least one person who will decide that they didn’t hear anything new. They didn’t learn anything that will help them. Well, the first part may be true, but I guarantee that the second isn’t. The fundamentals never change, so that information is going to remain the same. Still, if their business isn’t where they want it to be, then there’s something in those fundamentals that can help them. An open mind is one of the most important tools I’ll be taking with me.

Not every great idea I hear will work for me. For instance, I’ve gotten some great advice through other sources about marketing myself online. Since the company I’m with has rules against identifying myself with the company in any specific way online, I can’t always follow that advice. That doesn’t mean I can’t take something away from it, though. At the very least it’s advice I can pass along to someone else.

I encourage people to take advantage of training as it’s made available. There are lots of resources out there. But, if you’re not going to go with an open mind and a plan for making use of what you learn, why go?

Bull’s-Eye

Lots of things happen by accident. Sometimes business even happens by accident. But, is that really how you want to do business? Do you really want to leave your business to chance?

As I head out today I’ll be attending another networking meeting. While I’m there I’ll thank one member for over $500 worth of business that was referred to me. I’ll let the members know what type of person I’m on the lookout for right now. I’ll share what I believe sets me apart.

To be honest, it’s a lot of work getting ready for one of these meetings. On the surface of it all I have to do is show up. In reality I have to decide what to share. Who am I looking for right now? How can these people help me? They’re willing. I just need to know what to tell them.

Think about that. If you were to tell someone what your ideal customer looks like this week, what would you tell them? Now, I make it clear that I have something for everyone who eats. But, I’m not really stopping everyone on the street. What is my focus?

For instance, in April my focus will be people whose lives have been touched by cancer—breast cancer in particular. Why? Because we have a special promotion every May that benefits the American Cancer Society. Funds are donated for breast cancer awareness and education.

Archers have a target. Bowlers have a target. Pitchers have a target. Without a target you don’t know which way to aim. Really think about the target for your business. Once you’ve got your target in sight you’ll be ready to take aim and fire.

Getting Things Done

I get a lot done. Friends often comment on how much I get accomplished. There’s no magic. I simply make a list. Well, actually, I make several lists.

At the beginning of the week I look over my schedule and plan out the week. I leave wiggle room in most days just in case something takes longer than I expect or something more vital comes up.

At the beginning of the day I look over my calendar and remind myself of that day’s schedule. At that point I start that day’s to do list. I group things so that I do as little backtracking as possible. I keep most of my lists in a notebook labeled My Other Brain. That notebook has sections for different aspects of my life. The front section is my basic to do list. There are sections for my direct sales business, my publication design projects, church, marketing (so I can add to my list of stuff to buy whenever I remember something I need), data I need to keep at hand, and inspiration. The inspiration section is where I jot down quotes, thoughts, and ideas that don’t fit in any of the other categories.

Here’s the thing—by writing down the things that pop into my head, I clear space for what needs to come next. This helps me to focus on whatever I’m doing without forgetting whatever popped into my head.

The only exception to that is when I’m driving down the road. I do a lot of driving. I can’t write anything down while I’m driving, so I make use of our answering machine. I use the voice dial feature on my cell phone to call home and leave myself a message. It works beautifully.

That’s pretty much it. That’s how I get so much done. Well, that and taking care of myself. By exercising, eating right, and getting plenty of sleep I have the energy to actually tackle my lists. Like I said, it’s not magic.

Ordinary Days

Our lives are filled with ordinary days. The extraordinary ones stand out, but they’re rare—the wedding day, the birth of a child, the big vacation. However, the ordinary days make up a childhood, a marriage, a life.

Think about your ordinary days. Do you tell someone you love them? Do you enjoy your food? Do you cuddle a child? These things are all ordinary, but they are also incredibly special. Every ordinary day is filled with precious moments. These are moments we can never get back.

It’s so easy to lose track of our ordinary days. It’s easy to just kind of muddle through them without any thought. That’s exactly how we wake up one day and realize that our children are grown, our marriage is stale, and we’re right smack in the middle of middle age.

Take a moment every day to appreciate at least one precious aspect of that day. Did your child do something funny? Write it down. Did your spouse go out of his (or her) way for you today? Tell him how much you appreciate it and him. Savor every bite of at least one meal. I don’t care if it’s a fast food burger. Savor it. Really taste it. Once you’re in the habit of noticing the precious moments in the midst of your ordinary day, you might realize that every day is extraordinary.

I Want THAT One

I have such fun playing with little ones. At church yesterday I was watching a little guy who is just shy of his first birthday play with a little girl who is in first grade. They were playing with some of the rhythm instruments in the “big room” of our children’s ministry. We have a wide assortment of tambourines, maracas, rhythm sticks, and such. One by one the young girl would pick up an instrument and shake it, making lots of noise. The little guy reached for the instrument she was shaking. He’d take it in hand and attempt to make the same noise. Since he doesn’t quite yet have the same muscle coordination and strength, he didn’t get the same results. Dropping the instrument in his hand, he’d look up at whatever the young girl was now playing and reach for that one.

It struck me that this was a perfect example of how many of us behave. We get frustrated that someone else is getting better results. I’ve got the same stuff; why is she making better noises? Maybe you don’t have the right skills yet. Maybe you need to grow a little more before I can shake that maraca or make that tambourine jingle. Maybe you need to work a little longer with what you’ve got in order to get the rhythm down.

We all develop at our own pace. We need to take those baby steps toward our goals. We need to learn. We need to try. We need to stretch. Eventually we’ll get there. The thing to remember is that if all we ever do is get mad because someone else is getting better results we’ll never learn to play our own instrument.