I have a confession to make. I love to watch America’s Next Top Model. It’s an interesting psychological study. What I find fascinating (and often funny) is the arrogance of many of the contestants. Many of them are convinced that they are miles ahead of their competition. They are sure that there’s no way they can lose.
People often confuse confidence and arrogance. Sometimes they think a person who is confident is arrogant, especially upon first impression. Usually, though, that confusion will dissipate once they get to know the person better. Too often an arrogant person considers herself (or himself) simply confident.
Here’s the difference. Confident people are sure that they can make a good effort at what they try. They are willing to fail if that’s what happens. They know that a failure at something doesn’t make them a failure. Arrogant people believe they can do no wrong. If they fail at something it’s someone else’s fault.
Confident people learn from their mistakes. Arrogant people don’t, because they don’t believe they’ve made a mistake.
Confident people are anxious to learn from others. They know they have something to contribute but are equally aware that they have much to learn. Arrogant people are convinced they know it all, so they can see nothing of value in others.
Confident people engage in conversation. Arrogant people deliver soliloquies.
Confident people can disagree with their friends’ points of view, while still loving those friends. Arrogant people cannot tolerate dissenting opinions. Since they are clearly right, only an idiot would disagree. And, they don’t hesitate to let everyone know that..
Confidence is beautiful. Arrogance is ugly.