Valentine’s Day is coming up. You’ll hear a lot of relationship advice this week. Here’s a little more advice for wives. Treat your husband as if he’s already the man you want him to be.
Through the years a lot of women have told me that they’d be willing to submit to their husbands if their husbands were good, Christian men who were the spiritual leaders of their home. Wrong attitude.
The Bible’s clear about the way we’re to treat our spouses. Wives are to treat their husbands with respect. Husbands are to love their wives. Nowhere in the Bible does it say that those instructions are contingent upon the actions of the spouse.
I’m not talking about bad marriages. I’m talking about the average married couple. Every husband is different, but I can tell you that speaking kindly to him will go a long way. Find something he does well and tell him how pleased/impressed/grateful you are. Let him overhear you bragging about him to others. I am appalled at the way I hear women talking to their husbands. Their voices drip with sarcasm and criticism. Please remember that every word you speak to him either builds him up or tears him down.
Women crave love. Men need respect. It’s that simple. It isn’t easy, but it’s simple. Even if your husband doesn’t always do what you would like for him to do, treat him as though he’s the most wonderful husband in the world. By the way, if you expect flowers for Valentine’s Day, let him know. Don’t hint. Tell him what you’d like. Reading minds is not your husband’s job.
From experience, I can tell you that men tend to live up or down to their wives’ expectations. If you start treating him like he’s amazing, he’ll want to live up to your expectations. He won’t be perfect, but he’ll probably surprise you.